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Subscribe My Morning As A One-Woman Wet T-Shirt ContestIt’s hot outside. Hot and humid and utterly miserable, just as it has been for days and looks to be for many days in the future. It sucks. I hate the heat. I hate humidity. I hate the way that certain wobbly parts of my body seem to sweat more than their non-wobbly counterparts. Ergo, while sitting on the deck writing this morning I decided to tuck a plastic bag filled with ice down my cleavage. (Yes, there’s plenty of room.) Lordy, that felt good.Not a half-hour later, the doorbell rang. A friend was heading to the health food store and wanted to know if I felt l like tagging along. Out came the bag of ice, on went my shoes and sunglasses, and off we went.Now, if you’ve ever had the experience of being a chubby woman strolling around in a health food store you’re familiar with the covert but disapproving stares of strangers. You know they’re thinking that organic food isn’t the solution: less food is. You’re familiar with feeling stupid and awkward as you stand surveying the shelves of supplements promising to speed weight loss, and the smirks of those who see you doing so. In other words, I didn’t give much thought to why everyone I passed on every aisle was looking at me and then hurriedly looking away.Until I got home, that is. There, thanks to that bag full of ice I’d so enjoyed previously, I saw that my t-shirt had gone almost entirely transparent from the condensation and so had my bra. But did my friend say anything? Did she point out that I was a walking one woman wet t-shirt contest? Did she suggest I change before we left the house? No, no she did not.“Oh, I didn’t notice it,” she explained when I called her to fume over the incident. And, really, what can I do but accept her protestation of innocence?While reviewing my receipt to compare just how much more organic fruit costs than the stuff at our local grocery store I noticed the clerk forgot to charge me for the avocados, heirloom tomatoes and cantaloupe I’d purchased.Coincidence?I think not.If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.24.08 in My Venomous Life | 10 Hisses Something Else Antibiotics Won’t Cure(function(){var callback=function(e){e=e?e:window.event;if(e.stopPropagation)e.stopPropagation();if(e.preventDefault)e.preventDefault();e.cancelBubble=true;e.cancel=true;e.returnValue=false;return false;};var e=document.getElementById('flashviz');if(e.addEventListener)e.addEventListener('DOMMouseScroll',callback,false);else if(e.attachEvent)e.attachEvent('onmousewheel',callback);})();The “Happy Flu“. I caught it from Chaz. Want to catch it? Click the “Spread it!” button and don’t say I never gave you anything.Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.23.08 in Time Wasting Bites | 1 Hiss A Tacky Environmentalist
Green activist Dan Glass attempted to Super Glue himself to Gordin Brown, the U.K.’s Prime Minister, last night. After smuggling 5 pouches of the glue in his underwear to get past security at 10 Downing Street, Glass poured the stuff over his hand during Browns’ speech. Then, at the awards ceremony, he fastened his hand to Brown’s sleeve.“I just glued myself to him and after 20 seconds he tore my hand off - it really hurt. He had to give it a couple of tugs before it came away.“He was just grinning about it. He didn’t seem to take me seriously.” Afterwards, Glass was allowed to remain for the ceremony while Brown continued chuckling over the stunt. Undeterred, Glass tried to attach himself to the gates at Downing Street but was detached by a police officer. “I didn’t have much glue left”, he noted.Sheesh. Doesn’t that crazy environmentalist know how many eco-damaging chemicals are in Super Glue?Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.23.08 in Idiots Bite | 4 Hisses The Best Books You’ve Ever Read: A ListEarlier this summer I asked for your list of “must read” books: those which a well-read person should have enjoyed at least once, books which so profoundly affected your thinking that you wouldn’t be the same person if you’d never read them. Many of you answered in the comment section, and not a day has gone by when I haven’t received an email from someone suggesting an addition to the book list.Rather than keep that list to myself, I’ve decided to share it with you. True, it’s a bit late for those who think of reading as a summer-only past time. But if you’re like me, reading is something you do year-round — heck, I can’t even fall asleep without first spending an hour with a book. I’ll be posting sections of the list over the next few days, beginning with today’s “Modern Fiction” recommendations. Overall, the list — which Ill post as a series — includes:- Modern Fiction, part 1 (this entry)- Modern Fiction, part 2- Modern Non-Fiction- Classic Literature- Classic Non-Fiction- Mysteries/Thrillers- Biography/Memoirs- Sci-Fi/Fantasy- All the restThat said, here’s Modern Fiction, part 1 of the best books you’ve ever read. (Open wide…)Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.22.08 in Book Bites | 2 Hisses Who Cares About A SAG Strike?
I, for one, could not possibly care less about the impending Screen Actors Guild (SAG) strike in Hollywood. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’d even know if SAG actually did go on strike: between our DVR, Guitar Hero III and pay-per-view on cable, we don’t even bother wasting an entire evening scrolling through the channel guide’s lineup of re-runs anymore.Sorry, Hollywood: when the average person is tossing their sofa pillows in search of spare change to pay for gas, you aren’t going to find a whole lot of sympathy for actors faced with the “awful” possibility of wearing last-season’s D&G or Jimmy Choos.Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.22.08 in Celebrities Bite | 4 Hisses The Winners Are…
The “Wish I Could Squish Yer Head” Caption Contest is over. The winners are:First place: “Cut off mah nuts? Yo mamma liked mah nuts jus’ fine.” from Jim at Parkway Rest Stop.Second place: “It’s because I’m half white, isn’t it? from Joan of Argghh.Runner-Up: “Not another Sopranos rerun.” from Rodney Dill.Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.22.08 in Blog bites | 1 Hiss A Get Well Gift For A Manly ManLast month, my older brother had a kidney stone removed. Since we live hundreds of miles apart, I couldn’t be at the hospital when he came out of surgery but I still wanted to let him know I was thinking about him and wished him well.This, unfortunately, prompted a bit of a dilemma: sending a get well card seemed like too little effort, but sending a flower arrangement to a man felt strange, too. Oh, sure, I could’ve opted for a balloon bouquet or maybe one of those edible things, but both are still too girly for a manly man like my brother.Eventually, I opted for a bonsai tree ordered from the same place where I get all of my flower arrangements and hoped he wouldn’t think it was too frou-frou. Since he has allergies, I knew to send something that wouldn’t leave him sneezing uncontrollably while trying to recover from major surgery. A plant seemed like a perfect option and, as a side benefit, a bonsai plant would give him an excuse to use some of his favorite knives in his collection to keep the thing trimmed. That’s manly, right? While visiting my brother last month I got a chance to check out how his bonsai tree looked. Let me just say, I was impressed: not only its decorative pot of a better quality than I expected, the plant was thriving and even more lush than the picture. As for my brother, he actually got a kick out of receiving a bonsai instead of a colorful flower arrangement because it was a “manly” gift that will last far longer than a bouquet would.Which is a good thing since he was back in surgery last week to have his sinuses drilled in the hope of alleviating some of the pressure and discomfort that have plagued him for years. Or so he tells me. Personally, I think he’s just angling for another bonsai tree so he has a matched set for his kitchen counter.Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.22.08 in Blog bites | Comments? Caption Contest
You’ve got until Friday.Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.17.08 in Time Wasting Bites | 18 HissesOutside the Beltway | OTB| Online Journal of Politics and Foreign Affairs linked with Caption Contest The Death Of Print Journalism: A Suicide?Gannett Company, which publishes 85 newspapers throughout the country, is reporting a whopping 36% drop in second-quarter profit this year. Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal is trimming their editorial staff by 50 while hiring 95 more reporters. The move was prompted by Rupert Murdoch’s realization that every story run in WSJ is handled by 8.3 people before it ever makes it into print, an inefficiency which certainly contributes to the cost of publication. Even the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s getting in on the belt-tightening act, cutting 200 employees and eliminating some of its targeted news sections.With news dinosaurs Time, Newsweek and US News & World Report all suffering massive drops in advertising pages and circulation, the folks at Small Dead Animals are waiting for the asteroid that will put MSM out of its misery.Naturally, the print media is blaming the economy for the decline of advertising dollars and subscriptions. Apparently they’re too busy looking for scapegoats to read their own back issues, because the death of print media has been predicted for quite some time. It’s ironic, then, that newspapers — which online enthusiasts blame for being continually one step behind — are just now becoming aware of their seemingly inevitable demise.The thing is, it’s not for lack of people actually interested in reading the news. Even as print readership has fallen off, online news readership has blossomed, a trend which should have prompted print media to examine its weaknesses. Unfortunately — for traditionalists, at least — there’s little that print media can do to lure its readership back. The medium itself is passeé. I’ve always been a news junkie. As far back as I can remember, I’ve started my morning with the news. True, when I was 9-years-old and reading the morning paper over my bowl of Cap’n Crunch I was more interested in the comic section, but back then I’d occasionally read an entire story if the headline caught my attention. My morning news habit has not changed in the past 3 decades, and to this day I feel out of sorts if I don’t start my day catching up on world events.When we were visiting the in-laws last week, I didn’t have internet access and actually found myself reading a dead-tree newspaper for the first time in several years. It was discomfiting to settle for poorly written stories that barely skimmed the surface of an issue while realizing that immediately educating myself further on a topic or reading a dissenting opinion wasn’t an option. More than once I found myself questioning statistics in a story about the election or the war but I couldn’t hop online to do some fact-checking of my own. No wonder so many technophobes can’t discuss politics beyond sound bites and headlines, I found myself thinking. How can we ever consider our voting populace educated if they’re limited to merely accepting biased statements as “news”?But therein lies the biggest limitation and turn-off for many readers: you either know and accept that a newspaper or news magazine has a political prejudice and will be running slanted stories that leave you in the dark or you assume you’ve got the full story when, in fact, you probably don’t. (And you know what they say about people who “assume” things.)That’s the real change the internet’s brought to MSM: readers who are interested in the issues no longer have to depend upon a paper to decide for them “all the news that’s fit to print”. Don’t understand the situation in Darfur, much less know where the place is? Hop online and read Wikipedia, then explore from there. Wonder why Conservatives think Obama’s secretly a Muslim when, after all, he attended a (possibly racist) church? Do some exploring and decide for yourself. When you read the news online, additional information is just a mouse click away. When you read it in a newspaper or magazine you’re not just subscribing to their publication but to their political biases as well. Having been through the whole Dan Rather/National Guard memo debacle in the last election, I know better than to trust the accuracy what I see in print. MSM’s political bias has, in my mind, become a given. Judging by the drop in subscriptions and advertising revenue for print media, even people who don’t spend their entire days at the computer are starting to realize and reject this limitation, too. So is this the beginning of the end for newspapers and news magazines in printed form? Quite possibly. But it might also signal a new beginning, too: that of the curious, self-educated reader. News organizations desiring to stay in business might want to take note and work with that. A good start: eliminating the annoying registration requirements and paid access to archives which simply send online readers looking for a more convenient source of news. An even better approach: stop fearing the blogosphere and start linking to it, instead. Unless, of course, newspaper and magazine editors really are afraid readers will discover just how biased their stories are.Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.17.08 in News Bites | 6 HissesOutside the Beltway | OTB| Online Journal of Politics and Foreign Affairs linked with The Death Of Print Journalism: A Suicide?Ed Driscoll.com linked with The Death Of Print Journalism: A Suicide? Obama and the Michigan MuslimsObama’s distanced himself from Muslims in Michigan, a voting group whose support he may need to win the state. Some opine that he’s trying to separate himself the mental image created by the notorious New Yorker cover depicting him in Muslim garb while fist-pumping his AK47-carrying, camo-wearing militant wife. In other circles, this is known as trying to “unring the bell”.
(Photo via RightVoices)Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.17.08 in Politics Bite | 5 Hisses (This space left intentionally blank)Indeed.Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.16.08 in Liberals Bite | 3 Hisses A Jib-Jab Sing-a-Long(Be sure to look for a guest shot of Yours Venomously!)Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.16.08 in Politics Bite | 6 Hisses Welcome to the World, Little Pirate!After much waiting — and many false starts — WG is now a proud papa of an absolutely beautiful baby boy, the Little Pirate.Congratulations to one of my original — and favorite — Venomites and his lovely bride!Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.16.08 in Parenting Bites | 4 Hisses What California Drivers Can Do With Their Free HandsEarlier this month, California’s hands-free law went into effect. Drivers in the Golden State must now use Bluetooth headsets or similar devices to ensure their hands are available for driving. This measure, they’re being told, will save 300 lives per year. Most notably, the law’s backers say, it will protect teen drivers since they’ll be prohibited from talking on the phone at all while driving, even if they use a hands-free headset.Except, of course, like all Nanny State legislation, this one also falls short of the mark. The law, for instance, does not prevent those teens from talking to their passengers and, really, how many teens drive around alone? It does not stop them from wearing Emo hair blocking at least half of their vision. Or from performing that ridiculous head bop that signifies they’re listening to music and which, really, is no different from the Night at the Roxbury head bop their parents perform except that it moves front-to-back and is, inevitably, accompanied by hip-hop music.Nor does the law make it illegal to send, read or type text messages while driving. It does not even stop iPhone users from tapping away as they surf the net. Toyota Corolla owners can still use the touch-guided DVD navigation system to flip through their favorite songs. GPS addicts can stare at their screens as they navigate turn-by-turn, arguing with the dang thing whenever the system’s directions are blatantly wrong. Got one of those in-dash car DVD players, too? No problem: it’s still legal for you to watch the Best of Hooters (2008) while motoring down I-9 (presumably with at least one hand still available).But, hey, you’ll be safe from all those folks who gab incessantly over their cell phones now that they’ll be using Bluetooth accessories to ensure their hands are free to drive. Right?Right???Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.15.08 in Law Bites | 8 Hisses Desert Martini linked with What California Drivers Can Do With Their Free HandsBlogHer linked with What California Drivers Can Do With Their Free Hands No Connectivity!This is kimsch. Kate’s in the land of 10,000 lakes and is stuck without connectivity.But she found TaB!She’ll be back on Monday!Spewed by kimsch on 07.12.08 in Blog bites | 1 Hiss The Shangdong Segue To Safety
Members of China’s armed police demonstrate a rapid deployment during an anti-terrorist drill held in Jinan, capital of east China’s Shandong Province July 2, 2008, roughly one month ahead of the Beijing Olympics.(Xinhua/Fan Changguo Photo)What, like terrorists can’t afford a box of nails?Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.06.08 in Terrorists Bite | 8 Hisses Word Fugue: The Independence Day EditionI don’t expect to do much blogging this evening since VH and I will be busy celebrating our anniversary by making our own fireworks. (And, no, I won’t be posting the video, either.) Tomorrow, of course, we’ll be celebrating the nation’s anniversary with fireworks of another kind over at our friend Tony’s house. Judging by the past few parties he’s thrown I don’t expect to be doing much blogging: it’s hard to type when your laptop seems to be weaving in front of your eyes and I hate the way the spell-checker starts underlining just about every word.So we might as well play Word Fugue, that addictive little game that keeps you entertained without requiring me to be sober. If you’ve never played before, here are the rules:1. I start it off with a word.2. You look at the most recently posted comment.3. You leave ONE word that comes to mind upon reading the most recent comment.4. You may play as many times as you like, but you may not use the same word twice.5. The game continues until comments are closed.Ready?Here’s the word:BangYour turn!Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.03.08 in Time Wasting Bites | 37 Hisses How Many National Anthems Do We Need?Imagine you’re at a city government function, one at which the mayor will deliver his State of the City address. Although it’s no longer legal to begin such functions with prayer since that is tantamount to religious discrimination, such ceremonies still typically begin with someone singing the National Anthem. Only, notes into the song, you realize the singer isn’t singing the country’s National Anthem at all. Oh, the tune is the same but the words are quite different: both beautiful, but still clearly different songs. That’s because the performer is jazz singer Rene Marie — whose latest recording is entitled “Three Nooses Hanging” — and although she’s singing the tune of The Star Spangled Banner, the words are from the song Lift Every Voice and Sing, a tune known by some as the “black national anthem“:Lift every voice and sing, till earth and Heaven ring,Ring with the harmonies of liberty;Let our rejoicing rise, high as the listening skies,Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us;Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,Let us march on till victory is won.No one knew it was coming. Some didn’t realize at first what was going on. More than one in attendance were shocked or taken aback, particularly when the singer didn’t follow the tune up with the actual National Anthem.Nor is she apologetic about it, either. “Art is supposed to make you think. I wanted to express how I felt, being a black woman living in this country,” said Marie, a resident of nearby Broomfield, Colo.Not surprisingly the response has been heated with the word “racist” being bandied about by both sides. And me? I just don’t get it. I don’t understand any circumstances under which a person would think it’s appropriate for them to swap out lyrics to a national song to be sung at a civic event just to advance their own agenda, which is precisely what the singer was trying to accomplish. Under Marie’s own reasoning, would it still be “art” if, say, some good ol’ boy bluegrass singer in Mississippi decided to sing “Dixie” at the start of a city government meeting?Marie told KMGH7 that only her husband and mentor knew she planned to sing “Lift Every Voice.” She said she was encouraged to sing the black national anthem in light of Sen. Barack Obama’s upcoming visit to Denver in August, when he will attend the Democratic National Convention to accept his party’s presidential nomination.Seems to me someone’s hinting around in the hope of getting an invitation to perform.Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.03.08 in Politics Bite | 13 HissesBlogHer linked with How Many National Anthems Do We Need? What’s In A Doughnut Hole? Nothing!Obama has a plan to preserve the Social Security fund without raising the retirement age or cutting program benefits. His notion? To impose a Social Security tax increase and create a a “doughnut hole” where earnings between $102,000 and $250,000 are exempt from additional taxes.The plan, of course, contains several flaws, not the least of which is an incentive for employers to cap salaries at $249,999.99 to avoid paying an additional 6.2% in payroll taxes, as Kim. So why not adopt her plan which not only doubles the pool of payroll taxes to fund Social Security but gives both workers and small businesses a break in the process?Spewed by Venomous Kate on 07.03.08 in Politics Bite | 5 HissesMusing Minds linked with What’s In A Doughnut Hole? Nothing! Happy Anniversary, VH!Dear VH,It’s hard to believe we’ve been married ten years ago today. As they say, time flies when you’re having fun. Thanks for making the previous 31 years all make sense.By the way, don’t some of our friends owe us money for having reached this point with our marriage intact?I love you,Your WifeSpewed by Venomous Kate on 07.03.08 in My Venomous Life | 11 HissesNext Page »
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